The Stranger One Part 1
I go back home afterwork and just lie in my bed. Playing with my phone. Opening up Twitter,Facebook and Instagram. I just want to see what everybody else was doing in their life via social media. Sometimes I comment. Like the status and pictures.This always been my routine if I come home from work. Its funny that some of us are trying to find validation from the likes we received in social media instead of finding human connection. I'm guilty of doing this as well for the past couple of years. The human connection that I had now. Will it last forever? I wondered this a lot. When I'm alone in my room. There always been a scenarios. I get lost in my deep thoughts and the results would be no sleeping or a few hours of sleeps. Every night it always been different scenario. With different perspective. The bed and the settings is similar but the mind is out there in the world. Never contain always want to break free. Sometimes it effects how the heart responded to it as well.
Always the same routine never the same feeling. - Nazrin
✨I first learned about the concept of anxious attachment in adulthood from Sue Johnson’s book Hold Me Tight: Seven Conversations for a Lifetime of Love. A friend recommended it to me for the challenges I was experiencing in my partnership, and I sat in the tea house, tears streaming down my cheeks 😭 (I'm a crier, y'all), as I saw my own attachment patterns clearly for the first time.✨
I was missing a lot of information. And that’s okay, because that is part of being on the healing and growing path. We don’t know what we don’t know.
I never understood why relationships always felt a bit like a bottomless pit for me. Like no matter how much time I spent with someone, I was never quite satisfied. I didn’t understand why I often felt hopeless in partnerships or why I wondered if I would ever be with someone who really understood me or respected me (some of that had to do with my poor choice in partners, but some of it had to do with my perspective on relationships and the emotional triggers that hijacked my ability to stay calm and present). I didn’t understand that I had work to do. I didn’t even know what the work was or how to start.
I do now.
Link in bio for my blog this week, Healing Anxious Attachment!💖