Утро прошло хорошо. Котя даже дала поспать ночью. После чего была пробежка. Хреновая. Я мало пробежала. Около 7 минут бега. Остальные 15 минут ходьбы. Дома смотрела сериал. По питанию за день арбуз, два яблока, одна груша, вареная куриная грудка и чуть меньше стакана киселя. Нормально. Калорийность выложу в стори. Прошла 15k шагов. Сейчас кручу обруч. Ещё сделаю тренировку.
Вечером пипец как всё бесит. Мама пришла и сразу, а чё ты ела, а чё ты это не ела. ААААААААААААААА. Не ела и не ела. Отстаньте. Сказала, что поела каши, 5 яблок, котлету , арбуз и кисель. Половину киселя я вылила в раковину. Кашу не ела. Котлета в тумбочке лежит. Яблоки мама не считает. Всё ок.
Потом пришёл папа и решила накормить котю котлетой. КОТЛЕТОЙ ТВОЮ МАТЬ. Я ей каши, мясо, овощи варю. Корм влажный дорогой покупаю. А он блэт котлетой кормит. Причем такой котлетой, что там много муки, соли. Теперь он начал свою рыбу идиотскую фасовать, чистить. На весь дом шманит.
Я держусь. И вы держитесь, котята 🐈
Fiona with the best dog breed in the whole world 👌👌👌😂😂😂
2 94:34 PM Mar 31, 2018
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15 75623 hours ago
I am sad, angry, disappointed, disgusted, and annoyed with myself. Today is one of the worst days ever for me. All because I let my stupid emotions get the best of me, I ruined my relationship with my siblings, specifically my two sisters. I don't know if our relationship will be the same again. I think I have possibly ruined my relationship with my parents too (not that I had a good one with them anyway). I cried so hard today, multiple times I cried/almost cried, I never cried this much before in my life. I am on vacation with my sisters. They are having fun and enjoying themsleves. I was okay for the first few days but when we when to an amusement park. My mood changed and I simply ruined it. They wanted to do fun things today but I didn't want to go and they got so pissed and angry with my behavior that they ended up not going anywhere because of me. My oldest sister, who I never once got a fight with or had an argument, she didn't want to talk to me anymore. And my other oldest sister wanted to punch me so badly. I did say mean things to them. It got worse when I told them I didn't want to eat anything. They forced me to eat anyway. I just got more upset at that. I will never achieve that small, dainty, white look ever. I want to try to get better, to be happy and more positive but I realize that will never happen. Whenever I don't eat, everyone will get angry with me. I can't tell anyone about what I am doing. My parents already think I am crazy, but will they send me to a hospital to get help? No. They don't believe in that. I will get hit. No one will understand how I feel, why I'm always angry and why I'm like this. My head hurts like someone hit me in the head with their car. I can never get better. It's my fault, I put myself in this. The only solution is just for me to kill myself but they will just be more annoyed than sad that I chose to do this. I like to be alone but I never felt so lonely and upset when my own siblings just ignore me. Our relationship is something I doubt I will get back. I give up. I hate myself so much. I almost threw myself at the oncoming metro yesterday but I didn't because there were many people there.
9 15415 hours ago
491 calories which is great because i wasn’t hungry at all and i had a really good will power stopping myself from binging (partly due to all the triggering messages i got after posting my body check lol) but i’m feeling kinda good about this week. i was 61.5kg yesterday and i don’t wanna weigh again until friday because my weight is triggering me a lot lately