OH BOY!! ::this is hard for me::
So, I’m TRULY not used to put myself out quite like this. Most of you are probably aware that in March, I had to have a hysterectomy because I had a fibroid in my uterus that made me look about 5 months pregnant. It had almost completely shut my bladder down and started to press against my kidneys, causing all kinds of health issues. They had to make the cut longer that normal due to the size and it’s also really low. (BTW my surgeon was AMAZING)
It’s been three months and not only do a NOT have full feeing in that area yet, but my stomach will just randomly bloat out no matter what. I KNOW it’s temporary (or so I’m told) but it doesn’t stop me from feeling less than myself at times. Doesn’t matter how much I work out, how good I eat or how much water I drink. In fact, anytime I eat broccoli 🥦 (my fav) cauliflower or beans, my stomach pushes out so much. That REALLY makes me sad because these are some of my favorite foods. It also happens when I’m sitting upright too long.
So since it’s #bodyappreciationmonth & today is more of a struggle than most, I decided to post a photo EXACTLY as I am today. This is a mild example of what happens. When this happens I can’t wear my jeans and I have trouble doing my ab exercises.
I just thought I would share this today before I changed my mind. Not feeling pretty today, but I’m going through my steps to remind myself that this situation doesn’t make me who I am nor does it dictate beauty. It’s just going to take me a minute.
Thank you to all that decided to read this.
I’ve always HATED my shape..I mean HATED. I’m weirdly shaped, no denying that. But why should I dislike it? I should be thinking that it makes me more unique, but instead I’ve always wondered why can’t I just have a regular shape. (Whatever that is). I’ve heard I’m shaped like a boy, like a man..I’ve heard it all.
TODAY, for the first time in maybe 10 years, I put on this little dress and didn’t look back.
I STILL have the same weird shape and Big ASS hanging boobs, pot belly etc. The difference is that, I’m just ACCEPTING ME for who I am. I didn’t put on a bra or spanx underwear..I just put on the dress and walked out the door. Most liberating thing I’ve done for myself in a LONG TIME.
I’m proud right now.
I think out of all of my body parts, I’ve always liked my back overall. No matter how big or small, I’ve always loved the deep crease in the small of my back. I’ve been working hard to strengthen it to better hold what I have in the front lol.
In the beginning, I wasn’t a fan of the small rolls I would get sometimes under my bra, but I’ve even learned to embrace those of/when they are there.
This is one of my rare posts on #bodyappreciation month where I’m OK with a part of my body. I’m pretty proud of myself for being able to at least accept and even love a part of me.
What do you like/love about your body?
Location: New Orleans
SO, I’ve NEVER had a butt. I mean AT ALL. I just had a very long back. I was a rail with boobs. That stuck with me as people went as far as to say that I wasn’t a “real” black woman because I was missing my ass. Entering adulthood, I kept this in my head thinking that maybe I am just the ugly duckling. So much that I don’t have. This was me accepting other people’s view of me.
As I started having children and my weight fluctuated, I would have a pregnancy butt & then it would go away. When I finally decided to take my first #weightlossjourney in my 30’s, I decided to work on building what I DO have. At some point I just got to the point where I was tired of hearing “you have no ass”. I just decided to STOP LISTENING! I don’t want injections or anything else to give me an instant unnaturally large butt for my size like OTHER ppl thought I should have. Guess what? This is what I have and dammit I feel good about it. It just wasn’t meant for me or at least not at this point. There was a time I’d NEVER focus on a photo like this without being completely embarrassed. Now, I’m more concerned my view of me & it should not be based on the views of others. I truly appreciate who I am and what I have. (I’m not talking about my butt when I say that)
Continuing the journey to being the best ME possible...one day at a time.